35.1 Relationships
As a starting point, lets consider relationships that you have been involved in in this lifetime.
These could be sexual relationships or simply strong friendships, with the emphasis being on long or intense contacts with other people.
For each major relationship, you can scan through the incident where you postulated or were drawn into the relationship.
This does not dissolve the relationship unless it is one that you are already struggling to get out of.
Note that happily married people often reminisce about how they got together and it serves to strengthen the relationship because it rekindles the goals that they had for it.
On the other hand, these unpleasant love/hate relationships where the person keeps bouncing back and forth often include mistakes and misperceptions from the very beginning.
In this case the person tends to fixate on the later upsets and does not look back and re-evaluate his original premises. In some cases, looking back to the beginning with the wisdom of hindsight, one will see the mistaken ideas and wishful thinking that lead one down a wrong path.
The emphasis here is not on looking for trickery or things to blame on others. That does not set you free of the situation but only perpetuates it.
Instead look at your dreams and desires and the thing that you thought was there. This is what holds you to the relationship.
Do not abandon your dreams because they were misassigned. Simply realize that they latched onto an inappropriate target.
Our experiences with running incidents show that that the crucial point to run is the earliest part, the beginning when it all started.
So run the beginnings of relationships as incidents, this will take weight off of things that happened later in the relationship. This might clean up a good relationship so that it goes better and it might help you end off on a bad relationship or recover from the ill effects of one that happened in the past.
You can use the incident running technique that was given in an earlier chapter. And if the incident becomes heavier instead of clearing up, look for an earlier similar incident because one often gets into the same situation again and again.
Pay special attention to your goals and desires and intentions and decisions and to the things that you postulated for the relationship.